Having a son ruined my career and destroyed my marriage with his father’
A woman took to Reddit to share her story about how her son had ruined everything about her life, including her relationship with his father, and she doesn’t know what to do
A woman has said that having children has completely changed her life and now she can’t have a moment to herself without her son taking over – and it’s ruined her career, her relationship, and her mental health.
Sharing her story anonymously, the woman said that her three-year-old son takes over every moment – and she can’t even eat without him ‘whining’ or shoving a toy in her face.
She said that she barely speaks to her husband any more, and that other than parenting they have no relationship left – and she’s also packed in her job to look after the young boy.
The mother said that her child is so demanding that she no longer has any sense of self of identity, and has turned to the internet for advice.
Taking to Reddit, she said: “I’m just wondering if anyone else feels like they no longer have a life of their own when they have a toddler – 24/7, I am at my son’s mercy without reprieve.
“I’m a stay at home parent. Ended my career when I had my son three years ago because daycares scare me.
“My husband has a pretty demanding career but does all that he can when he’s home. We don’t really have a relationship anymore outside of parenting.
“He feels similarly like our toddler dictates everything. A meal, a conversation, a moment, cannot exist without our child screaming, whining, shoving a toy in our faces, crawling all over us, etc.
“We barely speak anymore unless it’s about him, because of how demanding he is. He doesn’t play independently at all, and needs constant entertainment. 100 per cent of everything I do is about our son.
“I have given up all of my hobbies or anything I enjoy for him because I simply cannot do them with him around.
“I used to paint, but if I even think about getting out any supplies, he’s all into them, getting paint everywhere. If I try to watch tv, he screams at me for not playing with him, or screams for me to put on Spongebob.
“All day, 100 per cent of the time, is about him. Which I know, I chose to have a child – it’s not about me anymore, but I feel I have no more sense of identity or self because I give myself completely to my child.
“I can’t stay up at night and give myself alone time either, because my son somehow always hears me, and still wakes up five times a night screaming for me. I just want to know… is this normal? Please tell me it gets better as they get older?”
After sharing her story online, other parents were quick to reassure the mother and contribute their take on the matter.
One user said: “No, this doesn’t sound normal. Personally, I’d put him in part-time preschool, sleep train, and start insisting on him learning to play more independently.
“Parenting doesn’t have to involve this degree of anxiety. You deserve time to yourself, sleep without being woken up 5 times a night, and marriage that involves more than parenting.”
And another added: “You’re going to have to teach him to be independent. Teach him his own jobs and give him a schedule. ‘You will dress yourself in these clothes because it’s hot today’, etc.
“Teach him not to interrupt your conversations and to say, ‘excuse me’ to get your attention when he needs to say something.
“Our son is now four, and he still has to work on these things some days, but he only needs a reminder. Put the work in and it will get better.”